If a lie is flattering does it matter that it’s untrue? 

The goal we have to feel good and worthy and meaningful at all hours of the day inevitably invites lies. Constant satisfaction is not human. 

We are born and grow against our will (most of the time) surviving off uncertainty gifted by our ancestors, but somehow expected to muster fortitude for the future. 

Encouraged to embrace some version of ourselves which is a watered down or over-saturated replica of our parents convinced that this is my truth.

How can we know our truth when the truth seems so elusive? Questions, always questions. 

Only able to find solace if someone outside of ourselves affirms we are here.  Needing acknowledgement to make it to tomorrow.  Self-care, no, tell me who cares? 

Exchanging compliments is the new bartering system.  Tell me that I matter in the way I need you to and I will return the favor.  If truth comes it comes, I have yet to see if but I am a woman of faith. 

Despite appearances, faith is not synonymous with naivety.  Easy to confuse the two, I admit. Some believe strong faith is a comforting lie.  Most lies are comforting.  I think that is why we do it.

A quest to feel safe.

Tell me I’m young enough and attractive, smart and able.  Reassure me that I did the right thing, that I tried my best, that they like me, that it will all be ok. I don’t need the truth, nor do I want it. I can’t handle it so I avoid it.  Be a friend and lie to me.  A true friend lies, an enemy is honest. 

Do you know how much I can do with a lie?  I can build a life, be happy, find love, gain prosperity, see the world, influence others, as long as I have that lie, I can have anything. 

The truth is another story.

The truth shall set you free, free enough to where?  I am terrified to be set free because I don’t know where I would go.

No thank you, I like it here. 

I think.  

Wrapped up in my beautiful white lies.  

They flatter me.