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Moving To New Orleans

Moving To New Orleans

I’ll just start by saying that the law of attraction works, whether you want it to or not.¬† Keeping that in mind, I must say that it has been quite a journey so far with my whole self-improvement kick.¬† All the long days and heavy tears are worth it in the long run, but sometimes it seems never-ending.

I am in New Orleans.  Yeah, I know.  It surprised me too, but not really at the same time.  I have my own apartment with a balcony in the French Quarter.  Just me and Irie.  As I write about all the newness that has been bestowed upon me it makes me feel pretty crappy that I still can battle with feelings of lack and unworthiness.

Why is that?

Ok, let’s backtrack because I am getting too deep too fast.

So, a few months ago I thought I was moving to Sweden- that did not happen because it turns out I fell victim to a huge scam that the University of Stockholm was going through.¬† I was pretty bent out of shape about it because it seemed like I was finally getting out and on with my life.¬† But I wasn’t.¬† It was devastating.

Shortly after that, I started cleaning up my web presence.  In other words, deleting all of my accounts.  I felt this unhealthy pressure to answer to the fictitious overlords that lived in the catacombs of html.  So I decided to drop off the face of the earth, which, I must say, felt exhilarating.  Unfortunately, it is damn near impossible to get yourself offline once your on.

They really do have a hold on us people...  I digress.

It reoccurred to me that I had an interest in New Orleans after re-reading an old blog so I meditated on it for all of five minutes.¬† I thought, “New Orleans is the most European/ French place in the United States, why don’t I see what’s up there?”¬† And so I did.¬† I mulled over apartment listings and job adds for what felt like an eternity, but in actuality it was maybe 1 1/2 months.

Bing, Bang, Boom,

@ Cafe D’Or BEST almond croissants?

I’m here.

And there it is.¬† I’m working at a French organization full-time and paying the bills.¬† Some days are better than others, but I am proud to have my own little space in the world surrounded by French.

“So, what’s the issue Ilyssa?¬† What is all this gloomy stuff you talked about in the beginning?”

Well,¬† I think I have a tendency to never be satisfied.¬† My mother calls me a masochist and she isn’t entirely wrong.¬† I have trouble just being and letting God handle the rest which is pretty ironic given what most of my writing seems to center around.¬† I fall into these intense slumps which makes me feel that whatever I am doing is not enough.¬† What I am dealing with is kinda like that, but I think I am feeling the tinge of being outside of my creativity for too long.¬† I recognize that I need to be in/ around the theatre or entertainment in order to feel like I am closer to myself.¬† Luckily, I am performing more and gaining momentum in the things I like to do which has helped elevate my spirit.¬† So the “issue” is really just me being impatient.

What a surprise.

It helps to document my feelings as I feel them.  Trust me, I know that all is well and that things are always working out for me.  I just think that the challenge I am currently facing is letting go and letting God.  The thing to remember about giving it to God is that it is an ongoing process.  It is something I must consciously do EVERYDAY.  I have noticed that the more I let go, the more I receive.  It is so counterintuitive, but I will not give up in my pursuit.  I have manifested a life so far that I never thought I could a few years ago so I must trust that there is even more magnificence awaiting my allowance nestled within my vortex.

I’m excited.

Ilyssa G

I’m a lady who is striving to live intentionally.
I like to write and I like art.
I also don’t know what I like.

Find me on: Web

Creating Healthy Habits

Creating Healthy Habits

Drink More Water. Exercise More. Finish That Book. We are all familiar with the traditional concept of creating healthy habits.¬† Most of us work externally; lose weight, volunteer more, stop cursing.¬† Of course, these healthy…

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