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When I Grow Up…

When I Grow Up…

Isn’t it funny that one day, out of no where, you are considered an adult? It sneaks up on you and suddenly, here you are, grown up. I don’t know about you, but for me, I definitely don’t have it all figured out yet. I thought by the time I finished university I would be as wise as Yoda. After all, I paid good money to feel self-assured.

Wrong.

After I walked the stage and got that VERY expensive piece of paper, I’d never felt more clueless.

I’ve had a lot of jobs. Not because I’m a bad employee and get fired all the time, but because I am guilty of following things that interest me when they are interesting. I’ve traveled the U.S., worked in the Entertainment Industry, Fashion Industry, and Hospitality. I accomplished a lot before I turned 30, but here I sit, still unclear about what really makes my heart sing.

There are several things that light me up when I think of them and I am sure it is the same for you. I think that may be the overwhelming part because I almost feel guilty for having so many interests. Like, I need to just give that up and commit. When I think back on all that rang my bells as a child, the list was never-ending. There is a theme though. There is an underlying pulse of what brings me joy.

I like to create things.

I like making something out of nothing and doing so in an authentically expressive way. That is probably, no DEFINITELY why I am even writing this blog. I like seeing what’s in my head materialize. I like to learn, grow and explore which is why the philosophy of MOVE. NOURISH. CONNECT. became such a big deal for me. In a way, I am rediscovering what I really like each day because when I’m not careful, others try and tell me what it is that I like.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Maybe you are looking around in your environment and thinking, “How did I get here?” Maybe you’re asking that question with a wince or with a grin, hopefully the latter. For me, it’s a bit of both.

Let’s be perfectly clear, I want to move back to Europe, specifically France. This is my ultimate goal.

Do I know how I’ll get there?

No.

Do I know what I’ll do for a living?

No.

Do I believe that this can actually happen?

Yes. In my mind it has to. I truly believe that if I feel this strongly about something there is no way it can’t manifest. I don’t believe that God is that cruel.

The image I have of myself is one where I am living in a spacious, eclectic but minimalistic parisienne apartment working creatively. Sharing my ideas, making things and being my own boss. I see waking up each day and being so filled with joy it makes me want to cry because I finally realize how beautiful life is supposed to be. I see myself having my own office in Paris where I create from, surrounded by people that are warm and welcoming and just as inspired to explore each day as myself. I picture speaking French just as much and as fluently as English and embarking on further study into Italian and Spanish. I see myself in love, mostly with myself but there is also a lucky guy I get to share this wild ride with. I see my work making a difference to those who are/ were just like me and more. I see myself giving back through the work I do and I see the “title” that I have as a profession being so fitting that people constantly ask how I came up with it and I simply reply, “It found me.” I see my life as effortless , yet incredibly productive and lucrative both financially and spiritually.

Pretty great right?

Like I said, I don’t know how I’ll get there, but I know that is where I’m going. I guess it doesn’t really matter if I know what I wanna be when I grow up because I’m constantly growing and that phrase implies that there is an end point. The only end point I know of is death and even THAT is debatable.

So I’m going to stop stressing so much about this topic. I think you should too. All we can do is continue to follow what we like and do the things that make us feel good. That’s it. There are no other requirements.

Ilyssa G

I’m a lady who is striving to live intentionally.
I like to write and I like art.
I also don’t know what I like.

Find me on: Web

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